Bye bye baby

prue back

My 3 Year old started preschool today. I don’t think a little girl could have been any more excited than this little girl, the whole family was excited! At 6am I awoke to 3 little girls fully dressed and fretting at my failure to have made lunch yet.

And I wanted it all to stop. Freeze. For the love of God, SLOW DOWN! Because she was ready but I sure as hell wasn’t.

I spoke to my husband last night about it. This is the first time in 6 1/2 years I won’t have at least one child to look after, it’s not like having someone babysit for an hour or having time when they are asleep, this is ‘I’m not being Mum’ time… he didn’t get it. He just hoped the house might get cleaned now.

We dropped my big girl at school and I was about to continue on with my two big preschoolers when a friend and her child caught up to walk together. To a rational mind, this was Perfect! The girls laughed and talked together, it was just another day, we talked as we followed and my 3 year old walked into preschool like she owned the place, she felt right at home, perfect.

The crazy loopy rejected mother mind was going NO. no no no no no, you don’t walk with us, this is my last 10 minutes of being with my baby, I was planning on hugging her 50 times on the way to preschool, I was going to stop and look at all the different flowers and not hurry her at all, I was going to ask her to tell me a story about clouds and sing a song with her. Sure I would have made her paranoid as hell and she probably would have suspected I was leaving for good and had a meltdown when I left… But I wasn’t ready!

After drop off, I checked I had my bag and keys over and over because something didn’t feel right, It was a sickening feeling. Then I rang my husband, shouted about my ‘moment’ being torn away from me and had a good cry. He quite rightly pointed out it was the perfect way for her to start … but I always feel better after a good shout so proceeded to rant all the way to the coffee shop regardless. It had nothing to do with my lovely friend and everything to do with the growing up of both my children and me it seems.

I didn’t think I was that sentimental but this has been tough. I’m having an extra big wine tonight and hugging all my girls a bit longer because as much as I hate the idea, we are on to another chapter. (insert a whole lot of expletives) We don’t have babies anymore, and that’s so increadibly sad.

Advertisements

Love them as I do…

There seems to be a troubling theme going on with my posts – a yearning for child-free getaways!

Little darlings that they are, they can certainly be a handful. I think what I need is to find a hobby. That might solve the problem. Something that’s just for me.

IMG_3269 IMG_3272

The problem of course is going to be fitting it in between everything else that is going on in my life. Already work is squeezed in whenever I have a free hour in between 3 x kids, meals, house stuff and everything else that seems to be in my job description. Sadly exercise is way down the list (and I am acutely aware it shouldn’t be!). I bought a 10 class gym pass 5 weeks ago and have managed to go twice in that time. Sigh. Trying to find some “me time” is a going to be a big ask.

IMG_3273

If by some small miracle, I could find this precious time, then the question is what “hobby” would I choose. I’d have to have a good think about that, because I’m not actually sure what that would be. I’m thinking something creative, something to do with art or something that would be fun to do – craft, sewing of some sort? Although who am I kidding, my sewing is abysmal, and not sure I want it to be any better because then I would feel obliged to actually use that skill every now and again. I’m not the scrapbooking, card making type either. Maybe a bookclub? I’d also love to go to art shows every now and again, although would find it hard to come home without purchasing whatever masterpiece I fell in love with.

IMG_3278

My other problem is my husband is away from anywhere between 1-3 nights a week for work, so I can never rely on him to be home to look after the kiddies on any one night.  Hmmm, all sounds in the too hard basket, but also a very appealing idea! Then again, I really probably need to get in some exercise as a priority first. Still have 3 babies worth of chubby left over –and lets be honest, I was never a slim jim to start with to there is some serious work to be done.

Small steps is what I need. Right at this moment, think I will take advantage of my parents in-law visiting and nip to the supermarket on my own – bliss! (and yet so sad).

 

NB.  With thanks to ‘Everything I need to know I learned from a little Golden Book (Diane Muldrow).  So true.

 

www.andthelittleonesaid.com.au is an online store that offers beautifully made, quality children’s clothing, accessories, toys and home decor.  Because everyone needs a little style.